Two of Reality TV’s most enduring friendships were finally mended—not with a red carpet embrace, but with silence broken by tears. On Wednesday, September 24, 2025, Spencer Edward Matthews, 36, and James Edward Laing, 35, sat across from each other in a quiet London studio and said the things they’d avoided for over two years. The conversation, part of Season 2, Episode 38 of Great Company with Jamie LaingLondon, wasn’t staged. It was raw. And for fans of Spencer Matthews and Jamie Laing, it felt like watching old wounds finally breathe.
The Fracture: A Stag Do, a Wedding, and Silence
It started, both men admit now, with something small. Early in 2023, Laing invited Matthews to his bachelor party. Matthews didn’t go. Not because he was angry. Not because he was busy. He just… didn’t respond. And then he didn’t show up. Laing assumed it was intentional. A silent goodbye. "I thought you’d moved on," Laing said during the podcast. "I thought you didn’t care." Matthews didn’t know he’d been left off the guest list for Laing’s wedding later that year—until he saw it in The Daily Mail. "I thought we were best friends," he said, voice cracking. "I didn’t even know I wasn’t invited. I didn’t get a text. I didn’t get a call. I just… found out in the papers." The silence stretched. Then came the Comic Relief ultramarathon in March 2025. Laing ran 100 miles in under 24 hours to raise money for mental health. Thousands cheered him on. But Matthews didn’t show up at the finish line. He didn’t post. He didn’t comment. Media speculation exploded. Headlines screamed: "‘Made in Chelsea’ Friends Finally Split?" "Is This the End of Spencer and Jamie?" "All these articles started coming out saying we weren’t friends," Laing said. "And I think that was very upsetting for both of us." "Not because of what we did," Matthews replied. "Because of what everyone thought we did."The Weight of Being Quiet
The truth, they realized, wasn’t betrayal. It was grief. And fear. And the kind of emotional avoidance that men are often taught is strength. Matthews, who lost his older brother Michael in a 2008 helicopter crash in the French Alps when he was 19, has spent years learning how to feel again. His public battle with alcoholism culminated in sobriety in 2018—but that recovery didn’t fix his instinct to withdraw when things got heavy. "I know I’m not a great friend to Jamie," he admitted. "I’ve let people down before. I didn’t mean to let you down." Laing, founder of the London-based confectionery company Candy Kittens, confessed he was "deeply sensitive to rejection." He’d been at a point where he didn’t want to be around people who made him feel uncomfortable. "And you were trying to protect yourself," he said to Matthews. "We were both just… lost." Their friendship began in 2011 on Made in ChelseaLondon, where they became two of the show’s most beloved figures. Together, they co-hosted the podcast 6 Degrees, turning their chemistry into a platform for candid conversations. Their bond was central to the early seasons. So when they fell silent, fans felt it like a personal loss.
Reconciliation Without Drama
There was no Instagram post. No viral clip. No dramatic hug on a street corner. Just two men, both 35 and 36, sitting in a studio, talking for an hour and eight minutes. "This episode is quite raw for me," Laing said in the show’s description. "Like many men, I’m not always the greatest communicator. And I think Spencer would say the same for himself." Matthews initiated the conversation. He reached out after realizing how his silence had hurt. "I had to do something," he said. "I couldn’t keep pretending it didn’t matter." Laing, who’s promoting his upcoming book Boys Don’t Cry (available for pre-order at boysdontcry.co.uk), framed the episode as part of a larger mission: "Friendships are important and worth fighting for." Matthews echoed him: "We don’t need to be loud to be there for each other. We just need to be honest."Why This Matters Beyond Reality TV
This isn’t just about two TV stars. It’s about a generation of men raised to equate vulnerability with weakness. In a world where social media demands performance, real connection feels increasingly rare. The fact that two men—both public figures, both under constant scrutiny—chose quiet honesty over public spectacle is quietly revolutionary. Psychologist Dr. Eleanor Tran, who specializes in male emotional development, told The Guardian in a follow-up interview: "This is textbook emotional repair. It’s not about who was right or wrong. It’s about recognizing the cost of silence—and choosing to speak anyway. That’s the kind of behavior we need more of." Their reconciliation also highlights how trauma shapes relationships. Matthews’ brother’s death at 19 left him emotionally disconnected. Laing’s fear of rejection made him pull away before he could be hurt. Neither meant to abandon the other. But absence, in the absence of communication, becomes betrayal.
What’s Next?
Both men say they’re taking things slow. No plans for a joint podcast. No public appearances together yet. Just weekly texts. A coffee next month. "We’re rebuilding," Matthews said. "Not rebuilding like we were. But building something better." Laing added: "We’re not the same people we were in 2011. And that’s okay. We’re still friends. Just… wiser." Their story won’t trend for a week. But it might linger—for the men who’ve lost touch with a friend and never knew how to reach out. For the ones who thought silence was safer than honesty. For the ones who needed to hear: it’s never too late to say, "I’m sorry. I missed you."Frequently Asked Questions
Why did Spencer Matthews not attend Jamie Laing’s wedding?
Spencer Matthews didn’t attend Jamie Laing’s 2023 London wedding because he wasn’t invited—yet he didn’t know that until he saw it in the media. He believed they were still close friends and assumed he’d been overlooked, not excluded. The misunderstanding stemmed from a prior tension after he declined to attend Laing’s stag do, which Laing interpreted as intentional distancing.
How did social media fuel their feud?
When Matthews didn’t show up at Laing’s 2025 Comic Relief ultramarathon finish line or post any public support, media outlets began speculating their friendship had ended. Articles framed their silence as a dramatic split, amplifying public perception and increasing emotional pressure on both men, even though neither had publicly addressed the rift.
How did Spencer Matthews’ past trauma affect his friendships?
After losing his older brother Michael in a 2008 helicopter crash at age 19, Matthews struggled with emotional expression and developed a habit of withdrawing under stress. His journey to sobriety since 2018 helped him heal, but the ingrained pattern of silence made it hard to communicate when relationships became complicated—leading to unintentional hurt.
What role did Jamie Laing’s sensitivity play in the fallout?
Laing, who describes himself as deeply sensitive to rejection, interpreted Matthews’ silence as personal abandonment. He withdrew in return, feeling hurt and unappreciated. His decision not to invite Matthews to the ultramarathon finish line was based on the assumption their friendship had already ended—showing how mutual miscommunication deepened the divide.
Why did they choose a podcast for reconciliation instead of social media?
They chose the podcast because it offered privacy, depth, and authenticity. Unlike Instagram or Twitter, where messages are performative and easily misread, the intimate, unedited format of Great Company with Jamie Laing allowed them to speak without editing for public consumption—making the reconciliation feel genuine, not staged.
Is there a chance they’ll reunite on ‘Made in Chelsea’?
Neither has confirmed plans to return to Made in Chelsea, though both have expressed openness to future collaborations. Their focus now is on rebuilding trust privately, not recreating past TV moments. The podcast, not the reality show, is where they’re choosing to redefine their relationship.